In this family story that includes more than 70 letters from Vietnam, the raw honesty of one homesick teenage boy speaks for every lonely soldier at war. Huey crew chief Larry Smith grew into a hardened man in his First Cavalry helicopter while his little sister Tracy started kindergarten back in New Jersey and learned of war from the family television. As Larry turned 19 in December 1967, battles intensified and his letters darkened, casting doubt on his promise to return home.

Decades after the war, as he lay in a coma, Tracy read her brother’s letters in full and vowed to uncover the whole truth of his war. What she learned makes the case for generational trauma in the mental health realm: children do not belong in war, nor should they watch one unfold on television.

After a career in real estate development, Tracy Smith completed broadcasting school, won a Telly Award with Naka Productions for associate producing “Moving America’s Lighthouse” with Walter Cronkite, and became a freelance columnist, author, and public speaker. Living near Charlotte, NC, she continues to share her family stories and experiences with PTSD to promote healthy discussion.

The late Larry Ray Smith was awarded multiple medals for bravery during two tours of duty in Vietnam, 1967–1969, with the 1st Cavalry Airmobile Division as a helicopter crew chief with the A/2/20 Blue Max unit.

Tracy Smith with Larry Ray Smith
Format: softcover (6 x 9)
Pages: 247
Bibliographic Info: 39 photos, index
Copyright Date: 2024
pISBN: 978-1-4766-9463-4
eISBN: 978-1-4766-5255-9
Imprint: McFarland

Acknowledgments ix
Preface 1
Part One
1. “I Grew a Mushstash” 6
2. “Open Up with My ­M-60” 23
3. I SEE YOU 37
Part Two
4. “Things I Don’t Want to Talk About” 42
5. “War Is Hell, but the Girls Are Nice” 78
6. I HEAR YOU 84
Part Three
7. “Charlie Don’t Play Games” 86
8. “Still Here Raising Hell” 97
9. I FEEL YOU 107
Part Four
10. “I Get Pills” 112
11. “Have I Really Gone Crazy All the Way?” 123
12. I GOT YOU 132
Part Five
13. “Thought I was a Gonner” 136
14. “Got Shot Down” 149
15. I BEG 171
Part Six
16. “We Go Where the War Is” 176
17. “Shove the ­Mini-Gun” 189
18. “I Blew It by Extending” 202
19. I PROMISE YOU 209
Part Seven
20. “Still Have a Long Way to Go” 212
21. In Memory of Charlie 215
22. Love Always, Tracy 225
Index 231

• “As the crowned Miss America, I had the privilege of connecting with the brave souls of the First Cavalry Division on my visit to the Vietnam War. Their unwavering protection and camaraderie became the cornerstone of an unforgettable chapter in my life. Yet, amidst the melodies of song and dance shared in gratitude with the soldiers, I bore witness to the harsh reality awaiting these heroes when they returned home. Pennies from Vietnam and stories like it shed light on the profound impact of war on our young people and the aftermath of trauma left in its wake.”—Jane Jayroe Gamble, Miss America 1967

• “Pennies from Vietnam is an immersive account of the author’s brother’s service in the U.S. Army’s First Cavalry Division during the Vietnam War. Many veterans and military families will resonate with this story. In this moving book by Tracy Smith, Larry’s revealing words help us all understand why our fathers and brothers who served in the war were challenged to discuss anything about it. Through personal letters home, the reader takes a front seat to the bravery, camaraderie, and harsh realities of war. The portrayal of combat’s boredom, danger, and utter brutality, offers a raw and honest look at the soldiers’ internal struggles and effects on the family. While the author doesn’t shy away from the controversial aspects of the war, she pays tribute to the sacrifices of these heroes who did what their country asked of them, and the families who prayed for them.”—Amy Peacock, coauthor of Old Breed General

• “I don’t have the words to articulate how this story has affected me. As an active military sailor, I feel akin to Larry, unable to articulate the complexity of emotions that swirl inside. They demand expression while being denied the tools or words to do so. Know that Larry’s story of silent pain is echoed in service members today and stories like his need to be told. Thank you, Tracy, for telling your brother’s story so eloquently.”—CTR1 Russ Sampson, U.S. Navy Active Duty

• “As a Vietnam Veteran, Pennies from Vietnam touched me on several levels. Larry’s story is emblematic of the over 2 million young men and women who served our country in Vietnam. Nearly 60,000 young Americans died in that unpopular war; tens of thousands more like Larry bore the traumatic scars that eventually contributed to their untimely deaths. Although their deaths are tragic, we should give praise and thanks for their examples of selfless service which Larry exemplified. We must strive to prove ourselves worthy of their sacrifice.”—Colonel Russ Olson, Citadel graduate, veteran and historian

• “The undercurrents from Pennies from Vietnam pull you into the life of a young man and his family who were changed by the traumas of war. Larry’s letters are poignant not only because of what he said but because of what he didn’t say. Let this be a reminder for all of those suffering…trauma is a creeping weed, the unattended roots of which can smother families for generations.”—Dr. Holly Richmond, Ph.D. somatic psychotherapist and author of Reclaiming Pleasure